Ban Food, Sex, and Computers!

True Bible-believing Christians know that to have even a mere sip of a wine cooler will get your butt drop kicked right into the burning fires of hell. When our Lord turned water into grape juice at the wedding in Cana (John 2), he had no idea texts like this would be used by liberal humanistic “christians” to support drinking alcohol responsibly in moderation! Now it’s true enough that having a glass of wine is not going to make you intoxicated, but it does make you flirt with sin! It starts with having a glass of Champaign on your anniversary and before you know it you are vomiting your sinful brains out all over your toilet!

The problem is that we in the lukewarm church have not banned enough things. We rightfully make our church members sign covenants that they will never engage in the worldly practice of temperate, non-intoxicating drinking. But what about so many other areas where we just close our eyes and cover our ears? Friends, in these Last Days as we await the Rapture of the saints we must be pure and holy vessels. This means getting rid of EVERYTHING that could cause us to stumble. Therefore, it’s finally time to ban food, sex and computers.

Think about it. Food causes obesity. Food causes people to focus on their fleshly desires rather than on Jesus. We’ve turned our Fellowship Halls into Halls of Sin with our constant potlucks. Numerous studies show that Bible-believing Christians have higher rates of obesity than even the general public. Why then do we continue eating? To stay alive you say. Well, I heard that you can go weeks without food and still live and a few days without water and still survive. If we really want to treat our bodies as a temple we should only be eating enough to keep us alive and mentally alert. Anything beyond that is excessive from both a scientific and spiritual standpoint.

Maybe we’ve forgotten about all the Scriptures talking about how serious gluttony is. Well, if you want to ignore the parts of the Bible you don’t like then be my guest, but I won’t have any part of it! Eating beyond what will keep you alive is just a precursor to gluttony. It starts with that one Twinkee and ends with you dropping dead at age 30 because of your compulsive eating. Before you know it you’re 450 pounds overweight and you can't barely move off of your couch!

Food is even way more subtle than temptations of drinking. It doesn’t take long for somebody to get drunk. But that bacon you are eating sits in your system for a long time. Remember that slice of chocolate cake you had several Christmases ago? You don’t, but your arteries sure do. You see, food is a slow, silent, and deadly killer. In this sense it’s even WORSE than alcohol because it kills you slowly over a period of years. Rather than just try and be some liberal and have it both ways, we should just ban food outright, except for food that is utterly necessary for your survival. Social eating is just a sliver away from gluttony. They are one in the same!!

What about sex? That Catholic Augustine was right. On a whole, sex is icky. Look at all the damage sex has done to our world. We have trashy sexual advertisements, abortions, diseases and all kinds of other stuff because of sex! Look at all the warnings in the Scriptures about sex! You find literally dozens of verses pertaining to sexual purity. Now I know the Apostle Paul says some nice things about sex and permits sex between married couples. He even says married couples are not to deprive one another except for a very short time. But that was then, this is now. They didn’t have the kind of sexual immorality we have back then. Abortion didn’t even exist until 1973. Back in Bible-times most people were monogamous and responsible sexually. Therefore, even though the Bible permitted a moral sexual ethic back then, we need to ban it because of our sex-saturated culture today.

Free-love unbelievers might not be able to distinguish from their filthy habits and married believers enjoying sex. Christians enjoying a Biblical sexual ethic might send a bad signal to unbelievers today and be a poor witness. Indeed, the mere fact that you enjoy sex is problematic. We tend to do things a lot that we enjoy. If you enjoy sex it opens you up to all kinds of possibilities for sexual immorality. Is that a can of words we really want to open? A better system is to only engage in sexual activity when you must conceive a child. We can view it as a necessary evil to keep the human species going. Other than that, this is a behavior true Bible-believing Christians should avoid.

Last but not least, computers. Look, humanity has done just fine without these Sin Machines for the last 6,000 years, and I see no reason why we need these stupid things now. I know the Bible doesn’t talk about computers per se but it does talk about immorality. Why would I want to use a computer when there are so many pornographic websites out there? What about all the other evil stuff on the Internet as well? Do you really want to be associated with this trash? If not, then stop using your computer! The Bible says we can’t be uneven. A little bit of evil spoils all the good. I’m only using this thing now to warn you of how evil it is. I will repent as soon as I am done with this post.

Sure, there’s a lot of good things on the Internet, but I know too many people who have been drawn into evil addictions because of them. Why take that chance? Let’s just ban computer use and be safe and consistent. Don’t use the excuse that you can use a computer without going on the Internet. You’ll be too tempted to get Internet access and before you know it you’ll be trapped in sin.

In conclusion, food, sex, and computers are just like alcohol. They all aren’t bad in of themselves, but they all can lead to very, very bad things! Excessive gluttony, sexual diseases, etc, all have both very negative cultural connotations and the label of sin from the Bible. Only unlike alcohol, their negative effects are hidden and take a longer time to cause destruction. Maybe they aren’t causing drunk driving accidents, but they sure lead to a lot of other damage! Given that this is the cultural norm, we need to ban food and sex (with survival stipulations) and computers outright! I suppose we could discern good, bad, and neutral uses for all these things, but it is much easier just to ban them completely. And if you want to be a good Christian, then you will ban them from your lives too.